Funny Quotes
Life can get you down if you let it. Don’t! Put a bit of light back in your day with our short funny famous quotes. We add a new one each day so you can start off with a laugh.
Find yourself despising the rat race life we all seem to live? Worried about finances, relationships and the like? Cumulatively, it can all get you down. In fact, it is now believed that stress slowly kills the vast majority of us – some sooner or some later. Laughter is the answer. If you make an effort to laugh a bit each morning, you can do yourself a world of good. With that in mind, we’ve put together this site packed with short, funny and famous quotes. And here we go…
Daily Funny Quotes
What about the all time famous hilarious quotes? There are some that simply have passed the test of time and will always be funny. Here are a couple to make you laugh.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Winston Churchill
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Steve Martin
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon.’ Need I say more?
Chris Rock
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Anonymous
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
Jerry Sienfeld
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
Bill Maher
Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.
Jon Stewart
There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.
Steven Colbert
