Funny Star Trek Quotes

Star Trek has grown into a way of life for many and often reflected the choices we have make. Fun is part of that and here are some funny Star Trek quotes uttered in the productions.

Spock: This is the new brig, Captain. It is escape-proof.
Kirk: How do you know?
Spock: The designers tested it using the most intelligent and resourceful person they could find. He failed to escape.
Kirk: This person didn't by any chance have pointed ears and an unerring capacity for getting his shipmates into trouble, did he?
Spock: He did have pointed ears.
-Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Kirk: Come on. Spock, why didn't you jump in?
Spock: I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words.
McCoy: It's a song, you green-blooded...Vulcan. You sing it. The words aren't important. What's important is that you have a good time singing it.
Spock: Oh, I am sorry, Doctor. Were we having a good time?
McCoy: God, I liked him better before he died.
-Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you or would you like to break some more furniture?
-Deanna Troi, to Worf, Star Trek: The Next Generation

Excuse me… Excuse me. I’d just like to ask a question… What does God need with a starship?
-James Kirk, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Human bonding rituals often involve a great deal of talking, and dancing, and crying.
-Worf to Data, on weddings, Star Trek: The Next Generation

Everybody remember where we parked.
-James Kirk, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, after landing the cloaked Klingon bird of prey in Golden Gate park

Spock: Ahh, Mr. Scott, I understand you’re having difficulty with the warp drive. How much time do you require for repair?
Scotty: There’s nothing wrong with the bloody thing!
Spock: Mr. Scott, if we return to space dock, the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the captain, or Dr. McCoy, alive again.
Scotty: Could take weeks, sir!
-Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons.
-Spock to Kirk, as Kirk is about to hug him, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Rumors of my assimilation are greatly exaggerated.
-Captain Picard, Star Trek: First Contact

Data: She [the Borg Queen] brought me closer to humanity than I ever thought possible. And for a time, I was tempted by her offer.
Picard: How long a time?
Data: Zero point six-eight seconds, sir... For an android, that is nearly an eternity.
-Star Trek: First Contact

We have them just where they want us.
-Captain Kirk